Grace's Birth Story

This pregnancy was so different from my other pregnancies. At 39 weeks, it was my longest pregnancy, and I had no complications with hypertension or bed rest. It was also my first experience with early labor symptoms. For 4 days before actually going into labor, I had contractions strong enough to wake me up at 3am. They would continue to come every 10-20 minutes until 5 or 6 am, at which point I would give up on sleep and get out of bed, and the contractions would stop.

On Sunday, October 12, I was exactly 39 weeks, and I felt like I would be pregnant forever. I felt like the baby had dropped super low, and I told Omar that I needed to walk. We went to Target in the evening and walked around for a while. Standing in a kitchen aisle looking at kids' dishes, I had my first really strong contraction. We went home and had dinner and put the kids to bed. I continued to feel strong contractions, much stronger than any I'd been having, but it was only one or two in an hour, so I tried not to get my hopes up. But after tucking the kids in, I logged into my work site and cleaned up some loose ends...just in case. 

Right after I got off the computer, the contractions suddenly picked up. At about 9pm, finally that magic moment: I had 6 contractions within half an hour! Thinking this was finally it, I grabbed my phone  to start timing the contractions...and they immediately spaced back out to 15-20 minutes apart. Omar came out, and we spent the rest of the night watching 30 Rock. The contractions kept coming, strong enough that I had to breathe through them, and I found that the most comfortable position was on my knees leaning forward on my yoga ball. But they were still only every 15-20 minutes. 

At 11pm, we decided to go to bed and try to get some rest. As we made our rounds checking on kids and doors, the contractions picked up, coming every few minutes and getting stronger. I was wearing a comfortable dress, so I didn't even bother to change, I just laid down on the bed. Once I relaxed on the bed, the contractions started to slow down, and I was able to breath and relax through them.

After a while, I heard Elijah wake up and sent Omar to check on him.  When Omar came back in, I asked him to call the doctor and let them know we were going to head to the hospital. The contractions were irregular, but some were coming as close as every 4 minutes, and I knew it was time to go.

Omar called his dad to come over, and I stayed on the bed as I directed Omar with the last minute items to pack.  I knew that as soon as I got up and started moving again that the contractions would start coming on stronger.  I was surprised when I looked at the clock and realized it was already 1am; I didn't realize quite so much time had passed.

The hospital is only 5 minutes from our house, so we got there quickly.  We had to sign in through the ER, and I just leaned on the desk breathing through contractions while Omar answered all their questions.  As we waited for some one from L&D to come get us, I draped my arms around Omar's shoulders and leaned on his chest through every contraction.  He was such a great support.

We got up to L&D triage and got checked.  The nurse said I was 6-7cm dilated, but "stretchy" so she wanted another nurse to check.  As soon as she walked out of the room, my water broke.  She was back 2 minutes later, they agreed my water had broken, and the second nurse said I was good 8cm.  They took me to a delivery room and paged the on call doctor.

This was the worst part of labor for me.  As soon as I got into the bed, I started feeling the urge to push, but they needed to get an IV going for antibiotics, and the doctor wasn't there yet.  Fighting my body's urge to push and trying to hold still through contractions was the worst ever.  The first nurse tried to start an IV in both my hands, but blew both those veins.  So she got the other nurse again who was able to get the IV going in my wrist.  By the time the IV was in, the doctor had arrived.  She checked, I was complete, and they FINALLY said I could push.

If you ask Omar, he'll tell you that the baby just shot out.  It wasn't quite so easy from my perspective, but it was quick: 3 good pushes and baby Grace was out at 2:44am!  They immediately placed her on my chest and rubbed her down, and she was just perfect.  Omar cut the cord.  They took over to the warming station briefly to check vitals then brought her back to me for skin to skin and nursing.

Once everything settled down, I was starving, and my supportive husband went out at 3:30am to buy me a breakfast sandwich from Whataburger.  While he was gone, I finished answering all the admission questions for the nurse and signed the paperwork.  Omar got back in time for Grace's first bath, and then we all moved over to a recovery room.

At 7lb 8.6oz, Grace is my biggest baby by almost a full pound, but recovery for me  has been the easiest.  I had no tearing or complications, and by a week post partum, I am feeling almost completely back to normal physically.

Grace is just perfect.  She's such a sweet, quiet baby.  She is nursing well and has passed her birth weight at 1 week old: 7lb 11oz.  All her siblings are in love with her, and she is in danger of too much affection at times.  We are all thrilled to have our newest family member with us finally.

When God Uses Our Kids to Teach Us

I just had an encounter with Joy.  It involved foot stamping and yelling, "No!"  (Her, not me.) After she spent a short quiet time in her room, I went and sat on the bed to talk with her.  She picked up her storybook Bible, opened it up to a verse printed on a page and said, "What does this say?"  I read...

"The Lord your God is with you.  He is mighty enough to save you.  He will take great delight in you.  The quietness of his love will calm you down.  He will sing with joy because of you." Zephaniah 3:17 (NIRV)

I looked at Joy.  "Did you hear that?  When you get upset and yell at Mommy, God's love can help calm you down."

"Ok, Mommy.  Can I read my Bible?"

"Of course."

Joy carried her Bible out to the living room, sat down on the couch, and I overheard her talking to William, "I'm reading the Bible.  It helps to calm me down.  The Bible tells me good and bad."

Truth.

How I Work From Home

I've been getting a ton of questions via text, email, Facebook, etc lately about what I do.  I get it: who wouldn't want the ease and flexibility of working from home?  Especially moms who want to be home with children!  So I thought a blog post might answer questions for any one else who might be curious.

I am a home health medical coder and auditor.  I have an HCS-D certification (home health ICD-9 coding) and a COS-C certification (OASIS-C, which is Medicare documentation for home health).  I work full time from home, with full benefits, on my own schedule, and I make almost 3x what I made in my office job before.  I have a monthly quota I have to meet, and anything over that is paid in a bonus check every 3 months.  I have been extremely blessed by this job.

It was a long path to get to this point.  In college, I took a part time job as a medical records file clerk at a home health agency (my mom worked for the same company, but in the hospice branch).  After college, I continued at the same company but was promoted to CRC: doing data entry and tracking doctor's orders and such.  Anytime I was caught up on work, I would help our quality assurance person with chart audits, and so began to learn some of the ins and outs of the home health world.  After about a year, the lady who does our coding was planning an extended medical leave, and they decided to train me to take over the coding.  I took it on enthusiastically.  I learned on the job, studied at home, took an online anatomy and physiology class, and attended a 3 day home health coding seminar.  I ended up passing the HCS-D certification exam and became the permanent coder in the office.  After another year, I took it on my own initiative to study, attend a seminar, and take and pass the COS-C exam.  I did not formally use that certification in my job description, but it helped me with coding and additional responsibilities in the office.

The year before we left California, we needed more income.  I took a second job as a remote coder/auditor.  With my experience and certifications, they were eager to hire me, and I was able to start immediately. It was a contract position, pay per chart, and I worked either early in the morning or late in the evening.  When we moved to Texas, I kept the contract job and started requesting more charts.  Last November, I was offered the full time position.  Since Omar was still job hunting in Texas, I took the the full time position.  Right after, Omar got a job offer, too, but I kept my full time job.  I'm glad I did, because we were all miserable with Omar working outside the home again.  We are grateful that when his contract ended, he was able to come home to homeschool the kids, and we can live comfortably on my income now.

How do I juggle working from home?  I have to be honest and say that when Omar was working outside the home, I could not do it.  I tried so many different things, but there was always something falling behind, and I was hugely stressed out.  With Omar home shouldering most of the responsibilities with the kids and house, it works out great.

I get up and spend the early morning with the kids, fixing breakfast and such.  I try to get a couple of hours of work done in the morning.  I break for lunch with my family, and I put Elijah down for his nap (sometimes I sneak in a little nap with him), and I get the bulk of my work done in the afternoon.  I break again for dinner and bedtimes.  Some days, I get all my work done in the day.  Most days, I have just a few charts to finish up after the kids are in bed.  Some days we do a big family outing, and then I stay up late to finish my work.  I enjoy being able to take frequent breaks in the day to spend with my family and take care of my kids.  It is also easy to rearrange my schedule for shopping trips, doctors appointments, or anything else we need or want to do as a family.  We don't have much of a schedule or routine right now.  Omar is doing a little schoolwork to keep the kids going over the summer, but he is focusing on a few home improvement projects right now, so some days I watch the kids more while he is working on the house, and some days he watches them more while I am working.  Once we get school going in the fall, we will have more of a routine I'm sure.

Having two parents at home works so well for our family.  We just like to be together.  If we need a few things from the grocery store, it is not uncommon for all 5 of us to jump in the car and go together.  The kids are thriving in their schoolwork with Omar as their primary teacher; he is just better at that than I am!  And I love that I can still be so involved.  My desk is set up in the main living area, so I feel like I don't miss a thing! Sometimes Elijah comes and sits in my lap for a little bit while I work.  Joy likes to bring the toy laptop over and set up shop next to me so she can do her work. I will take a short maternity leave when Baby Grace arrives, but I am so thrilled that I will never have to put her in daycare, and I won't have to pump 3-4 times a day.  I plan to babywear a lot the first few months.

Our current situation seems almost too good to be true, but when people ask me how they can do what I do, I have to say it wasn't easy for me; my certifications are very specialized and best learned on the job in an office. Don't be discouraged, though; I can offer a few suggestions. Medical coding and medical transcription are two great fields for work from home opportunities.  The general advice I have seen on forums is that medical coding pays better, but usually requires some office experience before you will be able to get a work from home job (similar to the path I took; you have to work your way into it).  Medical transcription doesn't pay as much, but you can usually start working from home right away.  Both career paths have tons of online opportunities for classes and certifications.

I feel so blessed to be able to do what I do and be home with my family. I enjoy my work, and I work for a great company.  There were times over the past 6 years that I struggled with my office job: I didn't enjoy it, I missed my kids, and we didn't have enough money.  Now I can praise God for those years and the way they prepared me for all that I can do now. Blessed, blessed, blessed!  I've been using that word so much lately, because every time I pause and think about where we are now compared to where we were a year ago, all I can do is praise God for his abundant blessings!

Music of my Heart

Each of my kids has a song. The births of my children are some of the highlights of my life. I will never forget all the details and circumstances surrounding each birth. Afterwards, as we held our new miracle, Omar and I always agreed on one song that captured our feelings in that moment. It wasn't  something that we planned to do or discussed at great length, but music has a power of expression that spoke to our hearts in those moments. Even today, when I hear these songs, I am taken back to those first days of their lives. 

William's song is "How Can I Keep from Singing Your Praise?" by Chris Tomlin. There is nothing like becoming parents for the first time. We were overwhelmed and frightened. The first week was difficult. He was 4 weeks early, and we didn't even have all the basic supplies we needed (my baby shower was scheduled for the following Saturday).  My mom was out of town when William was born. And William got a bad case of jaundice. He wasn't eating well, and we had to have him on the bili-lights. I had no idea what to even do with a baby; I didn't even know how to change a diaper. But we came through, and we could not stop praising God for this precious gift and getting us through that first week. 

Joy's song is an obvious play off her name: "You Are My Joy" by David Crowder. When we first heard that song at a concert while we were dating, Omar leaned over and whispered to me, "One day, I want a little girl named Joy." And that never waivered. While William's birth story was marked by all the difficulties after his birth, Joy's birth story was difficult before she was even born. I had HTN and preeclampsia. I was on bed rest in the hospital, and they were going to induce me at 36 weeks.  But at 35 weeks, Joy was tired of waiting and arrived in her own time, and she truly brought all the joy with her. Despite being 5 weeks early, she had zero health issues.  After birth, my blood pressure and labs quickly returned to normal.  We both left the hospital together two days after her birth. She continues to be such light and joy in our lives. 

Elijah's song is "Blessed Be Your Name" by Matt Redman. While I was pregnant with Elijah, we learned that my grandmother's breast cancer had metastasized to her brain. When I was 5 months pregnant, we made the trip to North Carolina to see her. The day of Elijah's birth, I had a doctor's appointment. I was in early labor, and he sent me home with instructions to call when things started to pick up. I arrived home to find my mom in her room packing. My grandma's hospice nurse had called and told her to come right away. She had a flight leaving at midnight. Labor got going at 7pm; Omar and I headed to the hospital and my parents followed. Elijah was born 20 minutes before my mom had to leave. She was there for the birth, and she got to see him and kiss him. The next day, I learned my grandma passed away a few hours after my mom's arrival. As I held my new baby and cried, that chorus played in my heart over and over, "You give and take away; my heart will choose to say, Lord, blessed be Your Name."

Precious, precious moments that I never want to forget. I'm grateful for music to stir my memory and my heart. And with every baby, as I held them close to my heart, I always sang to them the second verse of the hymn "Because He Lives:"

How sweet to hold a newborn baby

And feel the pride and joy he gives

But greater still, the calm assurance

This child can face uncertain days, 

Because He lives!

How Does She Do It All?

Honestly, I have no idea, and I wish some one could tell me the magic solution. Omar has been back to work for three months, and I am seriously floundering. I've got three main jobs: work (meaning chart audits that I get paid for, which is a full time job), housework, and caring for and teaching the kids.  I've come to the conclusion that I can only do two of the three successfully.

I can keep on top of my work and spend quality time with my children, and the house is a disaster (and that is not an exaggeration). Or I can spend quality time with my kids and keep the house clean, and then spend most of the weekend trying to catch up on my work.  Or I can stay caught up on my work, keep the house clean, and the kids watch movies and do whatever else all day long.  I can't seem to find the balance between these three extremes, so I just keep rotating between them and getting stressed out.

So I have come up with yet another plan in a long series of attempts to get my life more organized so I can "do it all." But I'm pretty excited about this one.  I think it might actually work if I do it right. It is less structured than some other plans I've created, but with more visual aides so the kids can be more involved. There will be a board with a short list of daily tasks to be completed with clothespins that can be moved to indicate when things are done. This will include items like Bible study and picking up at the end of the day. Also, instead of stressing about doing "schoolwork" everyday, I'm going to make it a little more informal and list a task called "exercising our brains." My kids love things like moving clothespins, so I am hopeful that this will help them to help me stay on task everyday. 

The other new visual aide will be a chore board.  The kids help already with things like cleaning out the dishwasher and putting away clean clothes, but I want to expand their responsibilities. Omar has already set a great example: he recently suggested that he take on the chore of cleaning the bathrooms every weekend, because he knows that is my least favorite chore. So I am going to assign each of the older kids one chore that they can learn to do well and be responsible for every day (Elijah still just gets to be the helper).  William is going to learn to sweep, and Joy will learn to vacuum. I know they have the ability to learn these tasks; the challenge will be whether I have the patience to teach them. I am gearing myself up for lots of repetition until they master their new chores, reminding myself that investing time now will pay off later.   

In my head, this all works out great, and I know reality is harder, but I think the key is getting the kids more involved. It will teach them more work ethic and responsibility, as well as taking some of the load off of me as they become more independent with their assigned chores. So here we go: a new week, a new plan, and a fresh start. Maybe I don't have to do it all if I rely on my family to help. 

Home

I've been reading recently from a few different sources lately  about having a "word:" one word that symbolizes a goal or focus in your life. Especially with the New Year and resolutions and such, this idea has come across my path again. I never really stopped to give it much thought, but at point I did finally ask myself what my word would be, and very quickly, I realized my word is "home."

Still fresh from my busy California life where I was a working mom, always running, when "home" just meant a place to eat and sleep, I am still actively appreciating the blessing of having "home" be the center of my life. Home is where I spend most of my time and pour out my energy, service, and love. 

The first focus of my home is my family. If I'm not giving everything I have to my marriage, and to my role as mother, then I am missing the point of who God created to me. I am made as a helper to my husband. I want to support him and encourage him. I want to make home a wonderful place that he looks forward to returning to at the end of every day. By keeping home clean and orderly as he likes it, by giving him my attention, respect, and care, I want this to be his favorite place to be. After my role of wife comes mother. I want home to be a refuge for my kids from a world that seems to be getting increasingly hostile and scary. I don't want home to be a shelter or bubble to protect my kids from every evil, but I want it to be a place where they can learn about the world from a proper perspective, so they have the confidence to go forth and explore because they know that our God is in control of everything. I want home for them to be a place where they learn how to love God and love their neighbors, and give them a foundation strong enough to stand against everything the world throws at them. 

The second focus of my home is my neighbor, the Biblical view of neighbor that includes every one who crosses my path that I can serve in some small way. I want my home to open and welcoming. I never want to shy away from having company, and I want every one who walks in the door to feel God's love and peace in this home. I want to teach my kids to be gracious hosts and to serve others. I'm slightly obsessed with feeding any one who walks in my home. Food is such a beautiful way to serve: it is such a basic need yet can also be one of our greatest pleasures. But ultimately, I desire for our home to be a place where people know they can come for help or shelter or food, or even just for happiness and playtime and love. 

I'm not saying I have reached any of the lofty ideals described above, but these are the goals I am striving towards, and "home" is my word. Love starts in the home.  If we can't show God's love to our family at home, it will never reach the world beyond our walls.