The Birth of Benjamin

It's amazing how different each labor and delivery is: a new adventure every time. Benjamin's story had a slow start, but got exciting in the end.

On Thursday, I had an OB appointment, and I was 3cm dilated.  Friday morning, I woke up at 3:30am with contractions.  Not super painful, irregular and far apart, but enough to keep me awake. I was hopeful, but even though the contractions continued on and off all day, they were never consistent enough to start timing.  They picked up a bit in the evening, but were gone by around 11pm, and I went to bed.

The contractions woke me back up at 4:30am Saturday morning. I gave up trying to sleep and got up to watch Gilmore Girls for a couple of hours until the family started to get up.  By this point, I was already exhausted and frustrated, and I decided it was time to try to get things going.  Before lunch, I did about 20 minutes of yoga, making sure to do every pose I'd read about that was supposed to help baby drop and engage.  I took a nap with Grace after lunch; I got about an hour of sleep before the contractions woke me up again. After that, we all went to the park and walked down to the lake and back.  That seemed to do the trick.  The contractions finally started to get consistent at about 10 minutes apart and a little stronger.

They spaced out a bit as we were getting the kids to bed.  When Omar and I went to bed around 10:30pm, contractions were about 10-15 minutes apart.  I dozed in between contractions and kept timing them, anywhere from 7-12 minutes apart.  Just after midnight, I got up to use the restroom, and it was like some one flipped a switch.  Contractions instantly jumped to 2-3 minutes apart and got intense.  I only waited through a few of those before I woke Omar up and told him it was time to go.  We called the OB on call to let them know, and Omar called his dad to come sit with the kids, and we were off.

My hatching Pokémon egg shirt was a big hit with all the nurses at the hospital.  They got me on the monitors right away and checked me; I was at 6cm.  A few minutes later, the OB on call (Dr. Rutter) came in.  She checked me again to be sure baby was still head down, and I was 8cm; Dr. Rutter said it was going to go quick, Dr. Zachrison probably wouldn't make it. We managed to get an IV started and sign all the admission paperwork.  Then the contractions started rolling one after another, and I was struggling to breath through them.  I rolled to my side while Omar did counter pressure on my back through a few contractions while they went to call Dr. Rutter.  Once she came in, they broke down the bed, and I rolled to my back.  Dr. Rutter said it would just be a couple pushes, one to move him down, and one to get him out, and she was right.Within minutes, Benjamin was on my chest, crying and peeing on me.

The nurses checked the records and told me we walked into the hospital at 1:26am, and Benjamin was born at 2:09am.  Dr. Rutter said he had a C-section head, no cone shape, because he came out so quickly.  He's beautiful and healthy, 7lb 8oz, 21 inches long.  We had a short hospital stay and cam some Monday afternoon.  Benjamin is perfect, and we are all in love with our newest family member.

Lessons

Guess what? The kids aren't the only ones learning when you are a homeschooling family. I've learned more about my kids, more about teaching, more about time management, patience, flexibility, and even learned more about learning. I feel like I've grown so much since the beginning of this school year.

And I feel like it's test time, because we have reached that point in the school year where things usually start to crumble. I'm burnt out, the kids are burnt out, the lessons are boring, every one is arguing. But I feel like we are passing the test this year, because we seem to be pulling through. The enthusiasm isn't completely gone, as proven earlier today when I ran into the bathroom waving an apple, a cork, a quarter, and a candle over my head and yelling, "Let's be scientists!" And my kids followed enthusiastically. 

So what have I learned?

1. We aren't morning people. 

I feel like this really shouldn't have taken me two years to figure out, but I had it set in my mind that in order to have a productive homeschooling day, we must get up and get started right away. This year, we switched our schedule, and we don't start lessons until after lunch. It has made a world of difference in our attitudes and productivity. 

Even though my kids rise early in the morning, they are not ready to learn early in the morning. They get the morning to run and play and goof off, and after lunch, I have more settled and focused students to work with than I had in the morning. Not saying they are actually settled and focused, but they are closer to being settled and focused. I can work with that. 

On the flip side, my kids get a better mommy-teacher. Since I also work full time from home, I have to have time to, well, work. When we did school in the morning, I started off with an already tense attitude because we had to get through everything before lunch, or I wouldn't have time to get my work done. Now, I get up and do my work in the morning, often completely finishing before lunch or with just a few things left to do. So in the afternoon, my kids actually get my full attention, and I am more patient and eager to learn with them and do more than just "get through" the lesson plan. 

2. My kids have different learning styles. 

Joy is a little tape recorder. I can read a story or a short lesson or even a chapter from Little House on the Prairie, and she can recall and regurgitate most of it. Not verbatim, but at least the general idea. And she loves to be read to. 

I can read the same story to William (while he fidgets and squirms and looks around the room), then ask him about something that happened in the story, and receive a blank stare. Thankfully, he is now a fluent reader himself, and if I assign him the history book for reading instead of a read aloud, the discussions we have afterward are more productive and rewarding. We work on auditory comprehension in small chunks separately, just to build a vital skill that he will need in life. 

And all my kids have a wonderful love for exploring and discovering and learning that I'm trying so hard not to squash. I've only pieced together a few pieces of the puzzle so far, but it's at least enough for me to appreciate that I will see better learning from my kids when I take the time and the effort to approach things the way they do. It's very trial and error, and still a work in progress, and I've barely gotten started with Elijah or Grace!

3. Curriculum matters. 

I've really always realized that the curriculum choice is important, but I've only this year figured out what type of curriculum works for us. We made a drastic switch this year from Abeka to My Father's World: Abeka being a very traditional worksheet heavy curriculum and My Father's World based on the Charlotte Mason style of learning with more books and exploration and hands on stuff based around unit studies. Overall, MFW is just a better fit both for my kids' learning style and for the way it fits in with our overall lifestyle. 

I still appreciate Abeka's strengths. After attempting Singapore math the beginning of this year, we made the decision to continue with Abeka math for William, and I will start Joy in Abeka math for first grade. Abeka also has a phenomenal pre K, I don't think Joy would have done so well with the MFW kindergarten without the Abeka pre-K foundation. I plan to have Elijah do the Abeka pre-K curriculum next year. 

Overall, MFW gives us enough structure that I don't have to spend hours planning lessons with enough flexibility to have fun and choose our focus. 

4. It's ok to lose the calendar.

I knew from the beginning of the school year that we would need some flexibility, so I picked a 4 day school week (Wednesday being our off day most weeks, but it's flexible) with a plan to school almost year round. Then I sat down with a calendar and counted units and weeks and planned out breaks all the way through to the end of the year. 

Then I lost the calendar. Seriously, I have no idea where that thing is. But that's not only ok, it's actually very good! We take breaks when we need them, and we keep going when we can. We can all enjoy and learn more when we are not stressed about sticking to a calendar. 

I got curious a couple of days ago and sat down to figure out where we were. I discovered William is on track to finish mid-May, but Joy and Elijah will be working into July. No idea how that happened, but I find I'm not too concerned about it. They are actively learning, and that's the goal, not finishing a curriculum. 

5. My kids are capable of so much more.   

There is always the temptation, especially since I spend so much time working one on one with my kids, to do too much for them. It's easy to take over the scissors so that all the cuts are straight and perfect. But if I hold back and give them a little freedom, they not only can do it, but they also love to do it, and they do a great job! And even more importantly, they are practicing and mastering skills if I just give them the chance. 

Elijah especially has amazed me this year with what he is capable of. Mostly because he'll jump in and get it done while my back is turned before I can turn around and give him the help I think he needs. Tracing, coloring, cutting, and all kinds of things!

William astounds me with his insights when I give him opportunity to read and think about things by himself.  He picks up on details that I would typically gloss over as unimportant, but they capture his imagination.  He is also learning to manage his own time and education.  Every morning, he has a list of independent work that I expect him to have done before lunch.  Sometimes that means he goes racing to his desk when he sees me heading into the kitchen before lunch, but I think the value of work before play is starting to work its way into his mind when he sits down and completes his work after breakfast.

Now I'm working on giving them more independence to help with the housework. Oh what a glorious day that will be! 

One day at a time, by God's grace, we keep going! Learning and growing as a family. ❤️

Nostalgia in the Making

Sometimes I wonder what my kids will remember about their childhood. What will be those significant yet small things that make them smile nostalgically?  I remember little things from my childhood: hot chocolate after fireworks on the Fourth of July, the Wonderful World of Disney on Sunday nights, staying up late to watch figure skating competitions, 1000 piece jigsaw puzzles with my mom, grandma, and sister. Those are the little things that made my childhood magical. 

What will my children remember? Maybe one day, they'll smile when they remember that we always had hot chocolate on rainy days. With marshmallows, that's essential to hot chocolate if you ask my kids. 

It didn't rain much this morning, not enough to truly justify a hot chocolate event. But it was Grandma's last morning with us, and we're going to miss her. 

I've been tinkering with my hot chocolate recipe, and I think I've finally perfected it. I'm lazy on rainy days, so I use a 4 cup Pyrex measuring cup and make it in the microwave. The secret to truly rich hot chocolate is the splash of heavy cream at the end. Don't skip that step!

The following recipe serves 3. 

Perfect Rainy Day Hot Chocolate

3 cups milk of choice

2 Tablespoons dark cocoa powder

4 Tablespoons honey

Splash of heavy cream

Pour the milk into a microwave safe dish and microwave 3 minutes. Add the cocoa and honey and stir well. Microwave another 2 minutes. Add a splash of heavy cream, stir well and pour into mugs. Top with marshmallows!

So maybe one day, my kids will look out the window at the rain and smile: "Mom always made hot chocolate when it rained."

Sharing

It's getting close to a year since I shared a blog post.  It's just been a crazy year with lots of changes and struggles trying to figure out the rhythm of our family. It's hard to find to find the desire to share when everything feels like it's going wrong. Lately, though, we are finally hitting a groove. At least in some things. So I've been thinking it's time to start sharing again. Maybe some of the things that actually work for us will help others, and maybe along the way I'll share some of the things that haven't worked, and that will help, too. 

So, since some one, I won't say who...

...decided that 5:30am is a great time to wake up, I have decided to start by sharing something simple that DOES work. 

S'mores Dip.

Yep, I'm sure you've seen versions of this recipe floating around Facebook or Pinterest. It's been very popular lately. But I've got to tell you that Omar and I have improved upon the original recipe. It doesn't seem possible; who could top chocolate, marshmallows, and graham crackers? But we have done it! This recipe is perfect for a late night snack after the kids are in bed at the end of a particularly stressful day. 

S'mores Dip with a Twist

Ingredients

Semi-sweet chocolate chips

White chocolate chips

Cinnamon chips

Large marshmallows

Graham crackers

Apple slices

Instructions

Preheat oven to 450F. Pick an appropriately sized dish that can take the heat. I like to use my 6 inch cast iron skillet, but sometimes that's too much, so I'll use a 4 inch corningware casserole dish. Pour in enough semi-sweet chocolate chips to cover the bottom of the dish. Add a small handful of white chocolate chips, and a slightly larger handful of cinnamon chips, and mix them all up. Cut the marshmallows in half (I use the kitchen scissors), and arrange on top, cut side down, with about 1/2 inch of space in between. Bake in oven for about 7-9 minutes. Stick close and keep an eye on them; they are done when the marshmallows are nice and brown and toasty. Remove from oven and set on hot pad on coffee table. Grab a cup of coffee or glass of milk, and turn on your favorite show. Enjoy the s'mores dip with graham crackers or apple slices! Yum!

Grace's Birth Story

This pregnancy was so different from my other pregnancies. At 39 weeks, it was my longest pregnancy, and I had no complications with hypertension or bed rest. It was also my first experience with early labor symptoms. For 4 days before actually going into labor, I had contractions strong enough to wake me up at 3am. They would continue to come every 10-20 minutes until 5 or 6 am, at which point I would give up on sleep and get out of bed, and the contractions would stop.

On Sunday, October 12, I was exactly 39 weeks, and I felt like I would be pregnant forever. I felt like the baby had dropped super low, and I told Omar that I needed to walk. We went to Target in the evening and walked around for a while. Standing in a kitchen aisle looking at kids' dishes, I had my first really strong contraction. We went home and had dinner and put the kids to bed. I continued to feel strong contractions, much stronger than any I'd been having, but it was only one or two in an hour, so I tried not to get my hopes up. But after tucking the kids in, I logged into my work site and cleaned up some loose ends...just in case. 

Right after I got off the computer, the contractions suddenly picked up. At about 9pm, finally that magic moment: I had 6 contractions within half an hour! Thinking this was finally it, I grabbed my phone  to start timing the contractions...and they immediately spaced back out to 15-20 minutes apart. Omar came out, and we spent the rest of the night watching 30 Rock. The contractions kept coming, strong enough that I had to breathe through them, and I found that the most comfortable position was on my knees leaning forward on my yoga ball. But they were still only every 15-20 minutes. 

At 11pm, we decided to go to bed and try to get some rest. As we made our rounds checking on kids and doors, the contractions picked up, coming every few minutes and getting stronger. I was wearing a comfortable dress, so I didn't even bother to change, I just laid down on the bed. Once I relaxed on the bed, the contractions started to slow down, and I was able to breath and relax through them.

After a while, I heard Elijah wake up and sent Omar to check on him.  When Omar came back in, I asked him to call the doctor and let them know we were going to head to the hospital. The contractions were irregular, but some were coming as close as every 4 minutes, and I knew it was time to go.

Omar called his dad to come over, and I stayed on the bed as I directed Omar with the last minute items to pack.  I knew that as soon as I got up and started moving again that the contractions would start coming on stronger.  I was surprised when I looked at the clock and realized it was already 1am; I didn't realize quite so much time had passed.

The hospital is only 5 minutes from our house, so we got there quickly.  We had to sign in through the ER, and I just leaned on the desk breathing through contractions while Omar answered all their questions.  As we waited for some one from L&D to come get us, I draped my arms around Omar's shoulders and leaned on his chest through every contraction.  He was such a great support.

We got up to L&D triage and got checked.  The nurse said I was 6-7cm dilated, but "stretchy" so she wanted another nurse to check.  As soon as she walked out of the room, my water broke.  She was back 2 minutes later, they agreed my water had broken, and the second nurse said I was good 8cm.  They took me to a delivery room and paged the on call doctor.

This was the worst part of labor for me.  As soon as I got into the bed, I started feeling the urge to push, but they needed to get an IV going for antibiotics, and the doctor wasn't there yet.  Fighting my body's urge to push and trying to hold still through contractions was the worst ever.  The first nurse tried to start an IV in both my hands, but blew both those veins.  So she got the other nurse again who was able to get the IV going in my wrist.  By the time the IV was in, the doctor had arrived.  She checked, I was complete, and they FINALLY said I could push.

If you ask Omar, he'll tell you that the baby just shot out.  It wasn't quite so easy from my perspective, but it was quick: 3 good pushes and baby Grace was out at 2:44am!  They immediately placed her on my chest and rubbed her down, and she was just perfect.  Omar cut the cord.  They took over to the warming station briefly to check vitals then brought her back to me for skin to skin and nursing.

Once everything settled down, I was starving, and my supportive husband went out at 3:30am to buy me a breakfast sandwich from Whataburger.  While he was gone, I finished answering all the admission questions for the nurse and signed the paperwork.  Omar got back in time for Grace's first bath, and then we all moved over to a recovery room.

At 7lb 8.6oz, Grace is my biggest baby by almost a full pound, but recovery for me  has been the easiest.  I had no tearing or complications, and by a week post partum, I am feeling almost completely back to normal physically.

Grace is just perfect.  She's such a sweet, quiet baby.  She is nursing well and has passed her birth weight at 1 week old: 7lb 11oz.  All her siblings are in love with her, and she is in danger of too much affection at times.  We are all thrilled to have our newest family member with us finally.

When God Uses Our Kids to Teach Us

I just had an encounter with Joy.  It involved foot stamping and yelling, "No!"  (Her, not me.) After she spent a short quiet time in her room, I went and sat on the bed to talk with her.  She picked up her storybook Bible, opened it up to a verse printed on a page and said, "What does this say?"  I read...

"The Lord your God is with you.  He is mighty enough to save you.  He will take great delight in you.  The quietness of his love will calm you down.  He will sing with joy because of you." Zephaniah 3:17 (NIRV)

I looked at Joy.  "Did you hear that?  When you get upset and yell at Mommy, God's love can help calm you down."

"Ok, Mommy.  Can I read my Bible?"

"Of course."

Joy carried her Bible out to the living room, sat down on the couch, and I overheard her talking to William, "I'm reading the Bible.  It helps to calm me down.  The Bible tells me good and bad."

Truth.

How I Work From Home

I've been getting a ton of questions via text, email, Facebook, etc lately about what I do.  I get it: who wouldn't want the ease and flexibility of working from home?  Especially moms who want to be home with children!  So I thought a blog post might answer questions for any one else who might be curious.

I am a home health medical coder and auditor.  I have an HCS-D certification (home health ICD-9 coding) and a COS-C certification (OASIS-C, which is Medicare documentation for home health).  I work full time from home, with full benefits, on my own schedule, and I make almost 3x what I made in my office job before.  I have a monthly quota I have to meet, and anything over that is paid in a bonus check every 3 months.  I have been extremely blessed by this job.

It was a long path to get to this point.  In college, I took a part time job as a medical records file clerk at a home health agency (my mom worked for the same company, but in the hospice branch).  After college, I continued at the same company but was promoted to CRC: doing data entry and tracking doctor's orders and such.  Anytime I was caught up on work, I would help our quality assurance person with chart audits, and so began to learn some of the ins and outs of the home health world.  After about a year, the lady who does our coding was planning an extended medical leave, and they decided to train me to take over the coding.  I took it on enthusiastically.  I learned on the job, studied at home, took an online anatomy and physiology class, and attended a 3 day home health coding seminar.  I ended up passing the HCS-D certification exam and became the permanent coder in the office.  After another year, I took it on my own initiative to study, attend a seminar, and take and pass the COS-C exam.  I did not formally use that certification in my job description, but it helped me with coding and additional responsibilities in the office.

The year before we left California, we needed more income.  I took a second job as a remote coder/auditor.  With my experience and certifications, they were eager to hire me, and I was able to start immediately. It was a contract position, pay per chart, and I worked either early in the morning or late in the evening.  When we moved to Texas, I kept the contract job and started requesting more charts.  Last November, I was offered the full time position.  Since Omar was still job hunting in Texas, I took the the full time position.  Right after, Omar got a job offer, too, but I kept my full time job.  I'm glad I did, because we were all miserable with Omar working outside the home again.  We are grateful that when his contract ended, he was able to come home to homeschool the kids, and we can live comfortably on my income now.

How do I juggle working from home?  I have to be honest and say that when Omar was working outside the home, I could not do it.  I tried so many different things, but there was always something falling behind, and I was hugely stressed out.  With Omar home shouldering most of the responsibilities with the kids and house, it works out great.

I get up and spend the early morning with the kids, fixing breakfast and such.  I try to get a couple of hours of work done in the morning.  I break for lunch with my family, and I put Elijah down for his nap (sometimes I sneak in a little nap with him), and I get the bulk of my work done in the afternoon.  I break again for dinner and bedtimes.  Some days, I get all my work done in the day.  Most days, I have just a few charts to finish up after the kids are in bed.  Some days we do a big family outing, and then I stay up late to finish my work.  I enjoy being able to take frequent breaks in the day to spend with my family and take care of my kids.  It is also easy to rearrange my schedule for shopping trips, doctors appointments, or anything else we need or want to do as a family.  We don't have much of a schedule or routine right now.  Omar is doing a little schoolwork to keep the kids going over the summer, but he is focusing on a few home improvement projects right now, so some days I watch the kids more while he is working on the house, and some days he watches them more while I am working.  Once we get school going in the fall, we will have more of a routine I'm sure.

Having two parents at home works so well for our family.  We just like to be together.  If we need a few things from the grocery store, it is not uncommon for all 5 of us to jump in the car and go together.  The kids are thriving in their schoolwork with Omar as their primary teacher; he is just better at that than I am!  And I love that I can still be so involved.  My desk is set up in the main living area, so I feel like I don't miss a thing! Sometimes Elijah comes and sits in my lap for a little bit while I work.  Joy likes to bring the toy laptop over and set up shop next to me so she can do her work. I will take a short maternity leave when Baby Grace arrives, but I am so thrilled that I will never have to put her in daycare, and I won't have to pump 3-4 times a day.  I plan to babywear a lot the first few months.

Our current situation seems almost too good to be true, but when people ask me how they can do what I do, I have to say it wasn't easy for me; my certifications are very specialized and best learned on the job in an office. Don't be discouraged, though; I can offer a few suggestions. Medical coding and medical transcription are two great fields for work from home opportunities.  The general advice I have seen on forums is that medical coding pays better, but usually requires some office experience before you will be able to get a work from home job (similar to the path I took; you have to work your way into it).  Medical transcription doesn't pay as much, but you can usually start working from home right away.  Both career paths have tons of online opportunities for classes and certifications.

I feel so blessed to be able to do what I do and be home with my family. I enjoy my work, and I work for a great company.  There were times over the past 6 years that I struggled with my office job: I didn't enjoy it, I missed my kids, and we didn't have enough money.  Now I can praise God for those years and the way they prepared me for all that I can do now. Blessed, blessed, blessed!  I've been using that word so much lately, because every time I pause and think about where we are now compared to where we were a year ago, all I can do is praise God for his abundant blessings!