The Birth of Benjamin

It's amazing how different each labor and delivery is: a new adventure every time. Benjamin's story had a slow start, but got exciting in the end.

On Thursday, I had an OB appointment, and I was 3cm dilated.  Friday morning, I woke up at 3:30am with contractions.  Not super painful, irregular and far apart, but enough to keep me awake. I was hopeful, but even though the contractions continued on and off all day, they were never consistent enough to start timing.  They picked up a bit in the evening, but were gone by around 11pm, and I went to bed.

The contractions woke me back up at 4:30am Saturday morning. I gave up trying to sleep and got up to watch Gilmore Girls for a couple of hours until the family started to get up.  By this point, I was already exhausted and frustrated, and I decided it was time to try to get things going.  Before lunch, I did about 20 minutes of yoga, making sure to do every pose I'd read about that was supposed to help baby drop and engage.  I took a nap with Grace after lunch; I got about an hour of sleep before the contractions woke me up again. After that, we all went to the park and walked down to the lake and back.  That seemed to do the trick.  The contractions finally started to get consistent at about 10 minutes apart and a little stronger.

They spaced out a bit as we were getting the kids to bed.  When Omar and I went to bed around 10:30pm, contractions were about 10-15 minutes apart.  I dozed in between contractions and kept timing them, anywhere from 7-12 minutes apart.  Just after midnight, I got up to use the restroom, and it was like some one flipped a switch.  Contractions instantly jumped to 2-3 minutes apart and got intense.  I only waited through a few of those before I woke Omar up and told him it was time to go.  We called the OB on call to let them know, and Omar called his dad to come sit with the kids, and we were off.

My hatching Pokémon egg shirt was a big hit with all the nurses at the hospital.  They got me on the monitors right away and checked me; I was at 6cm.  A few minutes later, the OB on call (Dr. Rutter) came in.  She checked me again to be sure baby was still head down, and I was 8cm; Dr. Rutter said it was going to go quick, Dr. Zachrison probably wouldn't make it. We managed to get an IV started and sign all the admission paperwork.  Then the contractions started rolling one after another, and I was struggling to breath through them.  I rolled to my side while Omar did counter pressure on my back through a few contractions while they went to call Dr. Rutter.  Once she came in, they broke down the bed, and I rolled to my back.  Dr. Rutter said it would just be a couple pushes, one to move him down, and one to get him out, and she was right.Within minutes, Benjamin was on my chest, crying and peeing on me.

The nurses checked the records and told me we walked into the hospital at 1:26am, and Benjamin was born at 2:09am.  Dr. Rutter said he had a C-section head, no cone shape, because he came out so quickly.  He's beautiful and healthy, 7lb 8oz, 21 inches long.  We had a short hospital stay and cam some Monday afternoon.  Benjamin is perfect, and we are all in love with our newest family member.

Lessons

Guess what? The kids aren't the only ones learning when you are a homeschooling family. I've learned more about my kids, more about teaching, more about time management, patience, flexibility, and even learned more about learning. I feel like I've grown so much since the beginning of this school year.

And I feel like it's test time, because we have reached that point in the school year where things usually start to crumble. I'm burnt out, the kids are burnt out, the lessons are boring, every one is arguing. But I feel like we are passing the test this year, because we seem to be pulling through. The enthusiasm isn't completely gone, as proven earlier today when I ran into the bathroom waving an apple, a cork, a quarter, and a candle over my head and yelling, "Let's be scientists!" And my kids followed enthusiastically. 

So what have I learned?

1. We aren't morning people. 

I feel like this really shouldn't have taken me two years to figure out, but I had it set in my mind that in order to have a productive homeschooling day, we must get up and get started right away. This year, we switched our schedule, and we don't start lessons until after lunch. It has made a world of difference in our attitudes and productivity. 

Even though my kids rise early in the morning, they are not ready to learn early in the morning. They get the morning to run and play and goof off, and after lunch, I have more settled and focused students to work with than I had in the morning. Not saying they are actually settled and focused, but they are closer to being settled and focused. I can work with that. 

On the flip side, my kids get a better mommy-teacher. Since I also work full time from home, I have to have time to, well, work. When we did school in the morning, I started off with an already tense attitude because we had to get through everything before lunch, or I wouldn't have time to get my work done. Now, I get up and do my work in the morning, often completely finishing before lunch or with just a few things left to do. So in the afternoon, my kids actually get my full attention, and I am more patient and eager to learn with them and do more than just "get through" the lesson plan. 

2. My kids have different learning styles. 

Joy is a little tape recorder. I can read a story or a short lesson or even a chapter from Little House on the Prairie, and she can recall and regurgitate most of it. Not verbatim, but at least the general idea. And she loves to be read to. 

I can read the same story to William (while he fidgets and squirms and looks around the room), then ask him about something that happened in the story, and receive a blank stare. Thankfully, he is now a fluent reader himself, and if I assign him the history book for reading instead of a read aloud, the discussions we have afterward are more productive and rewarding. We work on auditory comprehension in small chunks separately, just to build a vital skill that he will need in life. 

And all my kids have a wonderful love for exploring and discovering and learning that I'm trying so hard not to squash. I've only pieced together a few pieces of the puzzle so far, but it's at least enough for me to appreciate that I will see better learning from my kids when I take the time and the effort to approach things the way they do. It's very trial and error, and still a work in progress, and I've barely gotten started with Elijah or Grace!

3. Curriculum matters. 

I've really always realized that the curriculum choice is important, but I've only this year figured out what type of curriculum works for us. We made a drastic switch this year from Abeka to My Father's World: Abeka being a very traditional worksheet heavy curriculum and My Father's World based on the Charlotte Mason style of learning with more books and exploration and hands on stuff based around unit studies. Overall, MFW is just a better fit both for my kids' learning style and for the way it fits in with our overall lifestyle. 

I still appreciate Abeka's strengths. After attempting Singapore math the beginning of this year, we made the decision to continue with Abeka math for William, and I will start Joy in Abeka math for first grade. Abeka also has a phenomenal pre K, I don't think Joy would have done so well with the MFW kindergarten without the Abeka pre-K foundation. I plan to have Elijah do the Abeka pre-K curriculum next year. 

Overall, MFW gives us enough structure that I don't have to spend hours planning lessons with enough flexibility to have fun and choose our focus. 

4. It's ok to lose the calendar.

I knew from the beginning of the school year that we would need some flexibility, so I picked a 4 day school week (Wednesday being our off day most weeks, but it's flexible) with a plan to school almost year round. Then I sat down with a calendar and counted units and weeks and planned out breaks all the way through to the end of the year. 

Then I lost the calendar. Seriously, I have no idea where that thing is. But that's not only ok, it's actually very good! We take breaks when we need them, and we keep going when we can. We can all enjoy and learn more when we are not stressed about sticking to a calendar. 

I got curious a couple of days ago and sat down to figure out where we were. I discovered William is on track to finish mid-May, but Joy and Elijah will be working into July. No idea how that happened, but I find I'm not too concerned about it. They are actively learning, and that's the goal, not finishing a curriculum. 

5. My kids are capable of so much more.   

There is always the temptation, especially since I spend so much time working one on one with my kids, to do too much for them. It's easy to take over the scissors so that all the cuts are straight and perfect. But if I hold back and give them a little freedom, they not only can do it, but they also love to do it, and they do a great job! And even more importantly, they are practicing and mastering skills if I just give them the chance. 

Elijah especially has amazed me this year with what he is capable of. Mostly because he'll jump in and get it done while my back is turned before I can turn around and give him the help I think he needs. Tracing, coloring, cutting, and all kinds of things!

William astounds me with his insights when I give him opportunity to read and think about things by himself.  He picks up on details that I would typically gloss over as unimportant, but they capture his imagination.  He is also learning to manage his own time and education.  Every morning, he has a list of independent work that I expect him to have done before lunch.  Sometimes that means he goes racing to his desk when he sees me heading into the kitchen before lunch, but I think the value of work before play is starting to work its way into his mind when he sits down and completes his work after breakfast.

Now I'm working on giving them more independence to help with the housework. Oh what a glorious day that will be! 

One day at a time, by God's grace, we keep going! Learning and growing as a family. ❤️

Nostalgia in the Making

Sometimes I wonder what my kids will remember about their childhood. What will be those significant yet small things that make them smile nostalgically?  I remember little things from my childhood: hot chocolate after fireworks on the Fourth of July, the Wonderful World of Disney on Sunday nights, staying up late to watch figure skating competitions, 1000 piece jigsaw puzzles with my mom, grandma, and sister. Those are the little things that made my childhood magical. 

What will my children remember? Maybe one day, they'll smile when they remember that we always had hot chocolate on rainy days. With marshmallows, that's essential to hot chocolate if you ask my kids. 

It didn't rain much this morning, not enough to truly justify a hot chocolate event. But it was Grandma's last morning with us, and we're going to miss her. 

I've been tinkering with my hot chocolate recipe, and I think I've finally perfected it. I'm lazy on rainy days, so I use a 4 cup Pyrex measuring cup and make it in the microwave. The secret to truly rich hot chocolate is the splash of heavy cream at the end. Don't skip that step!

The following recipe serves 3. 

Perfect Rainy Day Hot Chocolate

3 cups milk of choice

2 Tablespoons dark cocoa powder

4 Tablespoons honey

Splash of heavy cream

Pour the milk into a microwave safe dish and microwave 3 minutes. Add the cocoa and honey and stir well. Microwave another 2 minutes. Add a splash of heavy cream, stir well and pour into mugs. Top with marshmallows!

So maybe one day, my kids will look out the window at the rain and smile: "Mom always made hot chocolate when it rained."

Sharing

It's getting close to a year since I shared a blog post.  It's just been a crazy year with lots of changes and struggles trying to figure out the rhythm of our family. It's hard to find to find the desire to share when everything feels like it's going wrong. Lately, though, we are finally hitting a groove. At least in some things. So I've been thinking it's time to start sharing again. Maybe some of the things that actually work for us will help others, and maybe along the way I'll share some of the things that haven't worked, and that will help, too. 

So, since some one, I won't say who...

...decided that 5:30am is a great time to wake up, I have decided to start by sharing something simple that DOES work. 

S'mores Dip.

Yep, I'm sure you've seen versions of this recipe floating around Facebook or Pinterest. It's been very popular lately. But I've got to tell you that Omar and I have improved upon the original recipe. It doesn't seem possible; who could top chocolate, marshmallows, and graham crackers? But we have done it! This recipe is perfect for a late night snack after the kids are in bed at the end of a particularly stressful day. 

S'mores Dip with a Twist

Ingredients

Semi-sweet chocolate chips

White chocolate chips

Cinnamon chips

Large marshmallows

Graham crackers

Apple slices

Instructions

Preheat oven to 450F. Pick an appropriately sized dish that can take the heat. I like to use my 6 inch cast iron skillet, but sometimes that's too much, so I'll use a 4 inch corningware casserole dish. Pour in enough semi-sweet chocolate chips to cover the bottom of the dish. Add a small handful of white chocolate chips, and a slightly larger handful of cinnamon chips, and mix them all up. Cut the marshmallows in half (I use the kitchen scissors), and arrange on top, cut side down, with about 1/2 inch of space in between. Bake in oven for about 7-9 minutes. Stick close and keep an eye on them; they are done when the marshmallows are nice and brown and toasty. Remove from oven and set on hot pad on coffee table. Grab a cup of coffee or glass of milk, and turn on your favorite show. Enjoy the s'mores dip with graham crackers or apple slices! Yum!

Grace's Birth Story

This pregnancy was so different from my other pregnancies. At 39 weeks, it was my longest pregnancy, and I had no complications with hypertension or bed rest. It was also my first experience with early labor symptoms. For 4 days before actually going into labor, I had contractions strong enough to wake me up at 3am. They would continue to come every 10-20 minutes until 5 or 6 am, at which point I would give up on sleep and get out of bed, and the contractions would stop.

On Sunday, October 12, I was exactly 39 weeks, and I felt like I would be pregnant forever. I felt like the baby had dropped super low, and I told Omar that I needed to walk. We went to Target in the evening and walked around for a while. Standing in a kitchen aisle looking at kids' dishes, I had my first really strong contraction. We went home and had dinner and put the kids to bed. I continued to feel strong contractions, much stronger than any I'd been having, but it was only one or two in an hour, so I tried not to get my hopes up. But after tucking the kids in, I logged into my work site and cleaned up some loose ends...just in case. 

Right after I got off the computer, the contractions suddenly picked up. At about 9pm, finally that magic moment: I had 6 contractions within half an hour! Thinking this was finally it, I grabbed my phone  to start timing the contractions...and they immediately spaced back out to 15-20 minutes apart. Omar came out, and we spent the rest of the night watching 30 Rock. The contractions kept coming, strong enough that I had to breathe through them, and I found that the most comfortable position was on my knees leaning forward on my yoga ball. But they were still only every 15-20 minutes. 

At 11pm, we decided to go to bed and try to get some rest. As we made our rounds checking on kids and doors, the contractions picked up, coming every few minutes and getting stronger. I was wearing a comfortable dress, so I didn't even bother to change, I just laid down on the bed. Once I relaxed on the bed, the contractions started to slow down, and I was able to breath and relax through them.

After a while, I heard Elijah wake up and sent Omar to check on him.  When Omar came back in, I asked him to call the doctor and let them know we were going to head to the hospital. The contractions were irregular, but some were coming as close as every 4 minutes, and I knew it was time to go.

Omar called his dad to come over, and I stayed on the bed as I directed Omar with the last minute items to pack.  I knew that as soon as I got up and started moving again that the contractions would start coming on stronger.  I was surprised when I looked at the clock and realized it was already 1am; I didn't realize quite so much time had passed.

The hospital is only 5 minutes from our house, so we got there quickly.  We had to sign in through the ER, and I just leaned on the desk breathing through contractions while Omar answered all their questions.  As we waited for some one from L&D to come get us, I draped my arms around Omar's shoulders and leaned on his chest through every contraction.  He was such a great support.

We got up to L&D triage and got checked.  The nurse said I was 6-7cm dilated, but "stretchy" so she wanted another nurse to check.  As soon as she walked out of the room, my water broke.  She was back 2 minutes later, they agreed my water had broken, and the second nurse said I was good 8cm.  They took me to a delivery room and paged the on call doctor.

This was the worst part of labor for me.  As soon as I got into the bed, I started feeling the urge to push, but they needed to get an IV going for antibiotics, and the doctor wasn't there yet.  Fighting my body's urge to push and trying to hold still through contractions was the worst ever.  The first nurse tried to start an IV in both my hands, but blew both those veins.  So she got the other nurse again who was able to get the IV going in my wrist.  By the time the IV was in, the doctor had arrived.  She checked, I was complete, and they FINALLY said I could push.

If you ask Omar, he'll tell you that the baby just shot out.  It wasn't quite so easy from my perspective, but it was quick: 3 good pushes and baby Grace was out at 2:44am!  They immediately placed her on my chest and rubbed her down, and she was just perfect.  Omar cut the cord.  They took over to the warming station briefly to check vitals then brought her back to me for skin to skin and nursing.

Once everything settled down, I was starving, and my supportive husband went out at 3:30am to buy me a breakfast sandwich from Whataburger.  While he was gone, I finished answering all the admission questions for the nurse and signed the paperwork.  Omar got back in time for Grace's first bath, and then we all moved over to a recovery room.

At 7lb 8.6oz, Grace is my biggest baby by almost a full pound, but recovery for me  has been the easiest.  I had no tearing or complications, and by a week post partum, I am feeling almost completely back to normal physically.

Grace is just perfect.  She's such a sweet, quiet baby.  She is nursing well and has passed her birth weight at 1 week old: 7lb 11oz.  All her siblings are in love with her, and she is in danger of too much affection at times.  We are all thrilled to have our newest family member with us finally.

When God Uses Our Kids to Teach Us

I just had an encounter with Joy.  It involved foot stamping and yelling, "No!"  (Her, not me.) After she spent a short quiet time in her room, I went and sat on the bed to talk with her.  She picked up her storybook Bible, opened it up to a verse printed on a page and said, "What does this say?"  I read...

"The Lord your God is with you.  He is mighty enough to save you.  He will take great delight in you.  The quietness of his love will calm you down.  He will sing with joy because of you." Zephaniah 3:17 (NIRV)

I looked at Joy.  "Did you hear that?  When you get upset and yell at Mommy, God's love can help calm you down."

"Ok, Mommy.  Can I read my Bible?"

"Of course."

Joy carried her Bible out to the living room, sat down on the couch, and I overheard her talking to William, "I'm reading the Bible.  It helps to calm me down.  The Bible tells me good and bad."

Truth.

How I Work From Home

I've been getting a ton of questions via text, email, Facebook, etc lately about what I do.  I get it: who wouldn't want the ease and flexibility of working from home?  Especially moms who want to be home with children!  So I thought a blog post might answer questions for any one else who might be curious.

I am a home health medical coder and auditor.  I have an HCS-D certification (home health ICD-9 coding) and a COS-C certification (OASIS-C, which is Medicare documentation for home health).  I work full time from home, with full benefits, on my own schedule, and I make almost 3x what I made in my office job before.  I have a monthly quota I have to meet, and anything over that is paid in a bonus check every 3 months.  I have been extremely blessed by this job.

It was a long path to get to this point.  In college, I took a part time job as a medical records file clerk at a home health agency (my mom worked for the same company, but in the hospice branch).  After college, I continued at the same company but was promoted to CRC: doing data entry and tracking doctor's orders and such.  Anytime I was caught up on work, I would help our quality assurance person with chart audits, and so began to learn some of the ins and outs of the home health world.  After about a year, the lady who does our coding was planning an extended medical leave, and they decided to train me to take over the coding.  I took it on enthusiastically.  I learned on the job, studied at home, took an online anatomy and physiology class, and attended a 3 day home health coding seminar.  I ended up passing the HCS-D certification exam and became the permanent coder in the office.  After another year, I took it on my own initiative to study, attend a seminar, and take and pass the COS-C exam.  I did not formally use that certification in my job description, but it helped me with coding and additional responsibilities in the office.

The year before we left California, we needed more income.  I took a second job as a remote coder/auditor.  With my experience and certifications, they were eager to hire me, and I was able to start immediately. It was a contract position, pay per chart, and I worked either early in the morning or late in the evening.  When we moved to Texas, I kept the contract job and started requesting more charts.  Last November, I was offered the full time position.  Since Omar was still job hunting in Texas, I took the the full time position.  Right after, Omar got a job offer, too, but I kept my full time job.  I'm glad I did, because we were all miserable with Omar working outside the home again.  We are grateful that when his contract ended, he was able to come home to homeschool the kids, and we can live comfortably on my income now.

How do I juggle working from home?  I have to be honest and say that when Omar was working outside the home, I could not do it.  I tried so many different things, but there was always something falling behind, and I was hugely stressed out.  With Omar home shouldering most of the responsibilities with the kids and house, it works out great.

I get up and spend the early morning with the kids, fixing breakfast and such.  I try to get a couple of hours of work done in the morning.  I break for lunch with my family, and I put Elijah down for his nap (sometimes I sneak in a little nap with him), and I get the bulk of my work done in the afternoon.  I break again for dinner and bedtimes.  Some days, I get all my work done in the day.  Most days, I have just a few charts to finish up after the kids are in bed.  Some days we do a big family outing, and then I stay up late to finish my work.  I enjoy being able to take frequent breaks in the day to spend with my family and take care of my kids.  It is also easy to rearrange my schedule for shopping trips, doctors appointments, or anything else we need or want to do as a family.  We don't have much of a schedule or routine right now.  Omar is doing a little schoolwork to keep the kids going over the summer, but he is focusing on a few home improvement projects right now, so some days I watch the kids more while he is working on the house, and some days he watches them more while I am working.  Once we get school going in the fall, we will have more of a routine I'm sure.

Having two parents at home works so well for our family.  We just like to be together.  If we need a few things from the grocery store, it is not uncommon for all 5 of us to jump in the car and go together.  The kids are thriving in their schoolwork with Omar as their primary teacher; he is just better at that than I am!  And I love that I can still be so involved.  My desk is set up in the main living area, so I feel like I don't miss a thing! Sometimes Elijah comes and sits in my lap for a little bit while I work.  Joy likes to bring the toy laptop over and set up shop next to me so she can do her work. I will take a short maternity leave when Baby Grace arrives, but I am so thrilled that I will never have to put her in daycare, and I won't have to pump 3-4 times a day.  I plan to babywear a lot the first few months.

Our current situation seems almost too good to be true, but when people ask me how they can do what I do, I have to say it wasn't easy for me; my certifications are very specialized and best learned on the job in an office. Don't be discouraged, though; I can offer a few suggestions. Medical coding and medical transcription are two great fields for work from home opportunities.  The general advice I have seen on forums is that medical coding pays better, but usually requires some office experience before you will be able to get a work from home job (similar to the path I took; you have to work your way into it).  Medical transcription doesn't pay as much, but you can usually start working from home right away.  Both career paths have tons of online opportunities for classes and certifications.

I feel so blessed to be able to do what I do and be home with my family. I enjoy my work, and I work for a great company.  There were times over the past 6 years that I struggled with my office job: I didn't enjoy it, I missed my kids, and we didn't have enough money.  Now I can praise God for those years and the way they prepared me for all that I can do now. Blessed, blessed, blessed!  I've been using that word so much lately, because every time I pause and think about where we are now compared to where we were a year ago, all I can do is praise God for his abundant blessings!

Music of my Heart

Each of my kids has a song. The births of my children are some of the highlights of my life. I will never forget all the details and circumstances surrounding each birth. Afterwards, as we held our new miracle, Omar and I always agreed on one song that captured our feelings in that moment. It wasn't  something that we planned to do or discussed at great length, but music has a power of expression that spoke to our hearts in those moments. Even today, when I hear these songs, I am taken back to those first days of their lives. 

William's song is "How Can I Keep from Singing Your Praise?" by Chris Tomlin. There is nothing like becoming parents for the first time. We were overwhelmed and frightened. The first week was difficult. He was 4 weeks early, and we didn't even have all the basic supplies we needed (my baby shower was scheduled for the following Saturday).  My mom was out of town when William was born. And William got a bad case of jaundice. He wasn't eating well, and we had to have him on the bili-lights. I had no idea what to even do with a baby; I didn't even know how to change a diaper. But we came through, and we could not stop praising God for this precious gift and getting us through that first week. 

Joy's song is an obvious play off her name: "You Are My Joy" by David Crowder. When we first heard that song at a concert while we were dating, Omar leaned over and whispered to me, "One day, I want a little girl named Joy." And that never waivered. While William's birth story was marked by all the difficulties after his birth, Joy's birth story was difficult before she was even born. I had HTN and preeclampsia. I was on bed rest in the hospital, and they were going to induce me at 36 weeks.  But at 35 weeks, Joy was tired of waiting and arrived in her own time, and she truly brought all the joy with her. Despite being 5 weeks early, she had zero health issues.  After birth, my blood pressure and labs quickly returned to normal.  We both left the hospital together two days after her birth. She continues to be such light and joy in our lives. 

Elijah's song is "Blessed Be Your Name" by Matt Redman. While I was pregnant with Elijah, we learned that my grandmother's breast cancer had metastasized to her brain. When I was 5 months pregnant, we made the trip to North Carolina to see her. The day of Elijah's birth, I had a doctor's appointment. I was in early labor, and he sent me home with instructions to call when things started to pick up. I arrived home to find my mom in her room packing. My grandma's hospice nurse had called and told her to come right away. She had a flight leaving at midnight. Labor got going at 7pm; Omar and I headed to the hospital and my parents followed. Elijah was born 20 minutes before my mom had to leave. She was there for the birth, and she got to see him and kiss him. The next day, I learned my grandma passed away a few hours after my mom's arrival. As I held my new baby and cried, that chorus played in my heart over and over, "You give and take away; my heart will choose to say, Lord, blessed be Your Name."

Precious, precious moments that I never want to forget. I'm grateful for music to stir my memory and my heart. And with every baby, as I held them close to my heart, I always sang to them the second verse of the hymn "Because He Lives:"

How sweet to hold a newborn baby

And feel the pride and joy he gives

But greater still, the calm assurance

This child can face uncertain days, 

Because He lives!

How Does She Do It All?

Honestly, I have no idea, and I wish some one could tell me the magic solution. Omar has been back to work for three months, and I am seriously floundering. I've got three main jobs: work (meaning chart audits that I get paid for, which is a full time job), housework, and caring for and teaching the kids.  I've come to the conclusion that I can only do two of the three successfully.

I can keep on top of my work and spend quality time with my children, and the house is a disaster (and that is not an exaggeration). Or I can spend quality time with my kids and keep the house clean, and then spend most of the weekend trying to catch up on my work.  Or I can stay caught up on my work, keep the house clean, and the kids watch movies and do whatever else all day long.  I can't seem to find the balance between these three extremes, so I just keep rotating between them and getting stressed out.

So I have come up with yet another plan in a long series of attempts to get my life more organized so I can "do it all." But I'm pretty excited about this one.  I think it might actually work if I do it right. It is less structured than some other plans I've created, but with more visual aides so the kids can be more involved. There will be a board with a short list of daily tasks to be completed with clothespins that can be moved to indicate when things are done. This will include items like Bible study and picking up at the end of the day. Also, instead of stressing about doing "schoolwork" everyday, I'm going to make it a little more informal and list a task called "exercising our brains." My kids love things like moving clothespins, so I am hopeful that this will help them to help me stay on task everyday. 

The other new visual aide will be a chore board.  The kids help already with things like cleaning out the dishwasher and putting away clean clothes, but I want to expand their responsibilities. Omar has already set a great example: he recently suggested that he take on the chore of cleaning the bathrooms every weekend, because he knows that is my least favorite chore. So I am going to assign each of the older kids one chore that they can learn to do well and be responsible for every day (Elijah still just gets to be the helper).  William is going to learn to sweep, and Joy will learn to vacuum. I know they have the ability to learn these tasks; the challenge will be whether I have the patience to teach them. I am gearing myself up for lots of repetition until they master their new chores, reminding myself that investing time now will pay off later.   

In my head, this all works out great, and I know reality is harder, but I think the key is getting the kids more involved. It will teach them more work ethic and responsibility, as well as taking some of the load off of me as they become more independent with their assigned chores. So here we go: a new week, a new plan, and a fresh start. Maybe I don't have to do it all if I rely on my family to help. 

Home

I've been reading recently from a few different sources lately  about having a "word:" one word that symbolizes a goal or focus in your life. Especially with the New Year and resolutions and such, this idea has come across my path again. I never really stopped to give it much thought, but at point I did finally ask myself what my word would be, and very quickly, I realized my word is "home."

Still fresh from my busy California life where I was a working mom, always running, when "home" just meant a place to eat and sleep, I am still actively appreciating the blessing of having "home" be the center of my life. Home is where I spend most of my time and pour out my energy, service, and love. 

The first focus of my home is my family. If I'm not giving everything I have to my marriage, and to my role as mother, then I am missing the point of who God created to me. I am made as a helper to my husband. I want to support him and encourage him. I want to make home a wonderful place that he looks forward to returning to at the end of every day. By keeping home clean and orderly as he likes it, by giving him my attention, respect, and care, I want this to be his favorite place to be. After my role of wife comes mother. I want home to be a refuge for my kids from a world that seems to be getting increasingly hostile and scary. I don't want home to be a shelter or bubble to protect my kids from every evil, but I want it to be a place where they can learn about the world from a proper perspective, so they have the confidence to go forth and explore because they know that our God is in control of everything. I want home for them to be a place where they learn how to love God and love their neighbors, and give them a foundation strong enough to stand against everything the world throws at them. 

The second focus of my home is my neighbor, the Biblical view of neighbor that includes every one who crosses my path that I can serve in some small way. I want my home to open and welcoming. I never want to shy away from having company, and I want every one who walks in the door to feel God's love and peace in this home. I want to teach my kids to be gracious hosts and to serve others. I'm slightly obsessed with feeding any one who walks in my home. Food is such a beautiful way to serve: it is such a basic need yet can also be one of our greatest pleasures. But ultimately, I desire for our home to be a place where people know they can come for help or shelter or food, or even just for happiness and playtime and love. 

I'm not saying I have reached any of the lofty ideals described above, but these are the goals I am striving towards, and "home" is my word. Love starts in the home.  If we can't show God's love to our family at home, it will never reach the world beyond our walls. 

Homeschooling in the Cracks of Life

I was corresponding with one of my sisters-in-law recently, chatting a bit about homemade granola and homeschooling.  She homeschools her 4 kids, and as I asked her about how she juggles it all, she at one point said that she prefers to do school "in the cracks of life."  I liked the sound of that, and the phrase has kind of stuck with me.

We have definitely found a rhythm to our homeschool life, and I am much more relaxed and lenient about it than I thought it would be.  At the beginning of the school year, I had actually composed a daily schedule broken down into half hour increments from when we woke up, to when we did school, what time we ate, etc.  It was impossible to keep.  And I have found that I enjoy "real life" much more than any rigidly crafted structure.

I do have a loose structure.  At the beginning of the year, I organized all of the Abeka worksheets (for William), and I scheduled them all out in a planner, also setting out our days off.  That gives me a base, and from there, I just plan one week at a time.  Over the weekend at some point, I sit down with all my planning things.  I look over the Abeka material, add from any extra relevant material I may have (mostly BOB books and a simple math activity book), and make note of which activities I can involve Joy in.  I also have a separate column for Joy where I plan out activities for her letter of the week.  It usually takes me less than an hour to transform my skeleton lessons into full plans for the week. 

"School" usually happens in the morning. After I've slept in as late as possible, and lingered over my coffee, I gather every one together. We have our circle time, and then work on various worksheets. William has a lot of independent work. Joy mostly works with me, then she just goes off to play while I work with William. Elijah likes to be in the room and usually in the way. Sometimes Omar takes him out, and sometimes he gets an episode of Yo Gabba Gabba, but I hate to use the TV too much. I also make little grab bags that I fill with miscellaneous items to entertain him. He loves pulling stuff out. It works so well, I keep one in the diaper bag, too, to use whenever we're stuck waiting somewhere. 

I've learned to be very flexible with that hour of formal work.  William loves to watch Omar doing his woodwork and projects. When I went looking for William to start school one morning, I found him in the garage watching Omar build something. I decided to leave him there. I spent extra time working with Joy that day, and just caught William up with a few worksheets when he came in that evening. I'm not very good yet at pulling the lessons out of every situation, but I am trying to realize the learning potential in every simple activity. How many lessons of hard work and dedication and even practical skills will William learn in the garage with his dad? Or he can practice simple reading and math skills reading a recipe with me to make dinner. Joy in the same situation would be learning to follow directions and sequential steps. I think this is the beauty of homeschooling: realizing that learning goes far beyond the classroom.

Most of our lessons are pretty tame. We use a lot of worksheets and flash cards.  We read tons of books. The kids really enjoy our weekly library trips; we always go on Wednesday mornings for Storytime. I've always got an eye out for educational apps for the iPad that the kids might enjoy. Joy and I use the iPad at least once a week to do google image searches for things that start with our letter of the week.  We also have language skills, math, reading, and spelling apps, as well as some interactive story books that the kids love. 

Every now and then I come up with a "big idea" to break the monotony. We all really enjoyed learning about the how the mail works.  We took a family walk to the mailboxes; William read street names and house numbers, and we learned how addresses work, and we mailed postcards to grandparents. We've started science journals like Sid the Science Kid. So far, we've just observed gravity by dropping balls, and tomorrow we will see if different kinds of balls bounce the same. I think that science experiments will begin to happen more in the new year. We learn about healthy foods during meal times, and we even had a tea party when we talked about manners.

One of the best things about homeschooling is being able to bring the Bible into every subject. Omar will set a theme for the week that goes with our Bible story, and we emphasize it in every area of living. For the month of November, we have been talking about gratitude. We have a thankful tree, and our memory verse this week is Psalms 118:1. I do memory verses and catechism questions with William and Joy during circle time, but the real meat of their religious education comes from Daddy during family Bible time every evening. The theological discussions get pretty deep. It's amazing what these little sponges can soak up, and I am so grateful we have this chance to be so involved in building their characters and love for God. 

And that's how it goes. If we decide we need a few things from the grocery store, it becomes a family trip in the morning, and formal lessons don't happen until the afternoon.  If family is in town, we'll just skip the lessons completely and make them up later. I think doing school in the cracks of life means realizing that learning is happening all the time, and while worksheets and flash cards can be good and useful, they aren't the goal, so it's ok if they get pushed to the side sometimes. Especially when my kids are this young, they are learning more outside the schoolroom than in it, and my goal is to help them realize that, cherish it, and become lifelong learners. 

The Heart of the Home

Our kitchen is right in the heart of our home. As I type this, I have a pizza casserole in the oven, lasagna noodles and quinoa cooking on the stovetop (in separate pots), and some butter sitting out to reach room temperature to make cookies later. I can hear my husband working in the garage, and watch my kids darting back and forth from bedrooms to living room as they play. Since moving to Texas, I have been able to spend so much more time in the kitchen, and I love it. Besides just enjoying cooking and baking, more time in the kitchen is translating into feeding my family healthier food and dramatically reducing our food budget.

About a year and a half ago, I  came across this website: 100daysofrealfood.com.  I already knew that our eating habits weren't the best, but I began to realize just how many chemicals and artificial foods were in things that were even promoted as healthy. I love 100 Days of Real Food because they are not critical, but very encouraging that every small change starts to add up and can make a big difference. 

I keep it simple and prevent it from becoming overwhelming by focusing on one small area to change at a time.  For example, the very first thing I did was start buying whole grain pasta. The kids didn't even notice the change. Very slowly (remember this started a year and a half ago, and we aren't done yet!), we are changing our diet to healthier, less processed foods, mainly by cooking from scratch and eating more fruits and vegetables. Sometimes it just means reading labels: if you can't pronounce it, you probably shouldn't eat it!

I'm pretty happy with where we are now. We are not 100% "real food," and I don't think we ever will be, but we are eating so much better than we used to. I've been making our own bread for a couple of months now.  It's not completely whole wheat, but better than almost all store bought bread that has a gazillion ingredients I can't pronounce. I never thought I would be the kind of person who keeps two kinds of flour in my pantry. We have recently stopped buying cereal, and I make a homemade granola that we all love for breakfast and snacking. Sometimes the kids like it with milk (like cereal), sometimes with plain yogurt sweetened with a touch of honey. We go through fresh fruit faster than I can buy it. The kids are even getting better about eating vegetables; Joy is like a rabbit the way she gobbles up salads. 

I've even made some personal sacrifices for the cause! I've given up my artificially sweetened restaurant espressos. Omar got me an espresso machine for my birthday, and I make my own lattes with just espresso and milk.  Sometimes for a treat I add honey and cocoa powder or pumpkin pie spice. I've also given up microwave popcorn, and I really prefer our air-popped popcorn with a little butter and salt, or a little ranch seasoning (on my to-do list: make my own ranch mix instead of store bought packets).

But all this real food and cooking from scratch means I'm spending a lot of time in the kitchen. I make bread about every other week (two loaves at a time, one goes in the freezer), and I make granola at least twice a week.  I usually try to make muffins or some similar grab and go breakfast for Sunday mornings in case we are running late and need to eat in the car on the way to church. I keep lunches simple: usually sandwiches with fresh fruit and veggies. And then there's dinner (and other miscellaneous baking and cooking). And I still need time to teach the kids and do chart audits. So to save time, I finally got into freezer cooking. 

I wish I had figured this out a year ago when I was working full time; we would have eaten so much better and would have had so much less stress in the evenings trying to figure out dinner!  If you have not heard of this before, the basic idea is that you spend a few hours prepping a bunch of meals at once, then put them in the freezer, and when it's time to cook, just pull out a meal! I have mostly done crockpot meals. The night before, I move the bag from freezer to fridge, then in the morning, just dump in the crockpot. In the evening, I usually just need to cook some pasta or warm some veggies. So easy, and we have discovered some really delicious recipes. This month, I am doing a couple casseroles, too.

Not only has this saved time, it has saved us money, too.  For one, we have meals planned and ready, so we don't eat out nearly as much as we used to.  Almost not at all.  Two, shopping in bulk and planning our meals has helped us save on our grocery bill. We have cut our grocery budget in half since moving to Texas. 

Simplify, plan, and save. This may sound a little hokey, but the changes happening in our kitchen really reflect the changes we are making in our lives as a whole. We are simplifying our lifestyle by focusing on what's important, planning for the future, and working hard to save money, pay off debt, and be good stewards. So the kitchen really is the heart of our home. 

My Kids

To start off, let me tell you I just read over my first post on this blog with the description of our life in California. It made me tear up a little remembering how hard everything was. Life has improved so much and in so many ways since we moved to Texas. Praise God for His work in our lives!

And now for one of my favorite types of blog posts, stories of my kids who give me no end of joy and laughter everyday. 

We were outside checking the weather when we heard some fire trucks in the distance. We talked briefly about how they were going to help people then went back inside to finish our circle time. At the end of circle time, William asked if he could do the prayer, and he prayed for the people the firemen were going to help. 

Joy: "Please may I can have pizza again, Daddy, and can I eat it like a bunny?"

We were sitting at the dinner table talking about taking a shower afterward, and Joy says, "We can make two Joys and two Mommies, and then no one will see us anymore...but first we have to brush our hair."

Elijah thought the church business meeting was very exciting. He would sit quietly with me in the foyer, but every time I tried to go back into the sanctuary, he got very excited, clapping and waving and squealing. 

One of the lovely ladies at church asked Joy her name, and Joy responded, "Minnie Mouse Joy."

We were all sitting quietly in the car when William suddenly said, "Daddy, what about Miss Cathy?" (Miss Cathy is his Sunday school teacher.) Omar asked, "What about Miss Cathy?" "Umm...Miss Cathy is cool."

Another day sitting in the car, and William pipes up with, "I love God, and I'm going to act like I love God."

One cloudy day, I told the kids that if it rained, we would put on a movie and make hot chocolate. They grabbed their stools and ran to the window where they stood watching the sky. William told Joy to pray to God for lots of rain. 

It didn't rain, but the next morning, William woke me up at 5:30am in tears, "I thought we were going to have hot chocolate?"

(It rained later that day, and we had hot chocolate.)

Omar: Are you cute like a bird?

Joy: No.

Omar: Hm. Are you cute like a frog?

Joy: No. I'm not cute like animals. I'm cute like humans. 

I gave Joy the job of putting silverware away. She stood on a stool by the drawer, and I set the silverware basket from the dishwasher in the drawer so she could reach it easily. When I checked on her after a few minutes, she was playing with the silverware. I told her to put the silverware away, and she immediately tried to close the drawer (with the silverware basket still sitting in it), said, "Oh, it doesn't fit!" Then jumped down and walked away. 

I've got to start writing these things down daily; there are so many moments that I forget too quickly!

Homeschool

Today was our first official day of homeschooling. I think everything went very smoothly, and I am excited to keep going! Here's our schoolroom:

We sit on the couch with lap desks when they are working with me, and they sit at the table for their individual work.  At least, that's the plan so far.  I can't wait to see how everything evolves and develops as we get going. 

One of the best things I've done so far is give myself a break. This is preschool and kindergarten; the most important thing is to give them a little structure and direction and foster a love of learning within a Biblical framework.  I have so many big ideas, and I want to incorporate so many elements, that I was just overwhelmed. Then I realized we can just start slowly, just a few activities a day, keep it light and fun, and we will slowly build momentum as we figure out what works best for our family. Once I took the pressure off, I started to get more enthusiastic as I dug into the planning. 

Texas is one of the best states for homeschooling. I don't even have to notify anybody, and if any authority asks, I just have to provide a letter stating that I am homeschooling and teaching my kids reading, writing, math, and good citizenship.  So I have complete freedom in how I structure and plan our lessons. For William, we have purchased a set of Abeka kindergarten curriculum. It gives me a good framework to work in, and I plan to modify and supplement to fit William's needs as we go. It includes some social studies and science type things that I will include Joy in as well. For Joy's letters and numbers, I plan to use the range of free preschool resources available on line.  I am starting very slowly with her, working on her attention span and cooperation as I figure out where she's out at and what we need to focus on. We will probably be doing a letter of the week type thing. For Elijah, I will let him listen and be involved as he wants to be, and plan a few simple activities now and then for him. I also filled a couple small drawstring bags with small toys and household items that are safe for him to explore, so if he gets restless and cranky, I can hand him a bag and let him investigate, swapping out new items every week or so.  I haven't had a chance to test that yet, so I'll let you know if it works well or not.

I have plotted out our calendar for the year, more of a year round type schedule with several long weekends, extra long Christmas break, and a week off every couple of months.  We will finish July 31 and have the month of August off before starting again in September. I've plotted the Abeka stuff in a planner for the whole year, and I will "fill in" the rest as we go, keeping a week or two ahead. 

I'm really glad we decided to start our circle time a week before our actual academics.  The first morning was a bit of a disaster. But we've improved on it a little everyday, and the kids are starting to enjoy it. I think their favorite part is checking the weather. We also do the good morning song, date, days of the week, and work on a memory verse.  We've also added some catechism questions from the new kids program at church. I'm trying to find more ways of getting them up and active to work off some of that morning energy. We do hand motions with almost everything we are memorizing.  Here is our bulletin board: 

My favorite find is that weather chart. I stumbled across the free template online, it was really easy to put together, and the kids love it. I love how it is teaching them to be more descriptive and use comparative terms.

We have our calendar separate. We haven't given it a permanent home yet. 

For our first day, Elijah left after circle time to go to the grocery store with Daddy, so I was able to focus on William and Joy. That was good to be able to establish how our routine will go. We kept it simple, light, and short. I worked with Joy and some alphabet flash cards while William completed a coloring sheet and practiced writing letters A to D. Then William and I did some letters and reading while Joy worked on tracing patterns. Our big project for the day was our first day of school posters. 

We finished with the Alphabet Monster Game.  This was actually in the lesson plans for tomorrow, but the kids saw the monster and were so excited to feed him, and we will probably do it again tomorrow. We have a magnet board with the alphabet magnets.  I named what the monster wanted to eat; William and Joy had to identify the letter it started with, find that letter on the board, and put it in the monsters mouth. I can't claim original idea, although I did slightly modify it, but it was a huge hit with William and Joy.

That was it for the first day.  As we progress, we will expand the morning with more individual work, mostly letters, numbers, math, and reading. I will spend extra time with William during nap time as needed, and art projects will happen in the afternoon, along with some science and social studies. Except on Wednesdays, we have story time at the library in the morning, so we will do our morning stuff in the afternoon. And we can be as flexible as we want to be with field trips or other activities going on in our lives.  I have determined there are no local homeschooling groups in Kyle, so I will have to start searching in surrounding cities to find the closest one.

As I was going through the Abeka curriculum, I was marveling at how much William will learn by the end of the school year, and I am so very excited that I get to be a part of it! Instead of seeing his progress on papers coming home from school, I will be there for every "Ah ha!" moment! And for Joy and Elijah, too.  I won't miss a moment, and I will know exactly what my kids are learning. Most importantly, I can work every moment on shaping and building their character to be God fearing men and woman.

Being Home

I think I can say with confidence now that I love being a stay at home mom. I have found a gentle rhythm in our daily routines, and it gives me immense satisfaction to cook and clean and care for my family. There is still not enough time in a day to get everything done, but I'm able to get enough done, and I'm learning to be satisfied with that.

I love all the time I have to spend in the kitchen. I'm working hard on our grocery budget right now with lots of meal planning. I'm also slowly working towards more healthy eating with more fruits and veggies and more food made from scratch. I'm even making sandwich bread, and it is delicious! I had a freezer cooking session a few nights ago (it was quite an emotional saga), and now my freezer is full of meals for the next few weeks. Of course, I also love to bake, so there have been plenty of goodies coming out of the kitchen, too. Moderation, right?

My biggest challenge (as I predicted) are the mornings.  I know that if I could get up before the kids, even by just 10 or 20 minutes, and have some time to myself to get going before the kids start tugging at me, then my day would almost surely start 100% better. But it's really hard to believe that when the alarm goes off in the morning, and I try to squeeze in every last minute of sleep until the kids drag me out of bed. It would help if I went to bed earlier, but there is always something to do after the kids go to bed: catch up on cleaning, auditing charts (I do about 10 a day), or homeschool planning. It would also help if I didn't let Elijah come to bed with us around 5 every morning (but it's really hard to get him back to sleep on his own at that time, and he is so warm and cozy!). I'm working hard to conquer this before we "officially" start school next week.

I won't talk about the homeschooling yet. That will be its own post sometime next week. For now, I'll just tell you that things are starting to come together, and I'm looking forward to our first day of school!

For my quiet time, I've been reading a chapter of Proverbs every morning. This morning, I finally landed on Proverbs 31.  I know it's cliché, but I truly want to be that Proverbs 31 woman. This is a woman of strength and passion; she works hard for her family.  Verse 27 is on my daily planner: "She watches over the affairs of her household and does not eat the bread of idleness." And then there's verse 15: "She gets up while it is still dark"...yeah, that is one part I definitely need to work on.  But what struck me most in reading this passage today is the way the husband sees this wife.  He is proud of her; she does nothing but uplift and bring him honor.  He relies on her; he praises her.  God designed woman to be man's helper, and this Proverbs 31 woman has mastered that, and her husband is happy because of that and appreciates her.  She contributes to her family through physical work, financial profit, and wise counsel.  She does not fear for the future of her family because she works hard to provide for them, but also because she fears the Lord. There is the crux of what I'm striving for: a woman who clearly displays her trust in the Lord as she works everyday and is the main support for her husband.

I think it's time to pause in my quiet times, and dwell on these passages for a few days.  There is so much to pull from here, and so much to think on.  As life falls into place, and we are really getting settled here in Texas, this is our great chance to re-define the flow of our family.  I know I play an important role in that in how I treat my husband and my kids, and how I order my day. Even with less on my plate, life is still rolling by so fast, it's easy to lose track of the center of everything.

I love being home everyday, and I desperately need God to be the center of our home.

Lord, be with me in the mundane day to day.  Be my center, and keep my eyes focused on You.

Texas

We have survived the road trip with few incidents, and we have been in Texas for about a week now. It's been exciting and sometimes a little scary. Definitely an adventure. Let's just say Texas is very different from California, but I think we are going to be very happy here.

One thing you will not hear us complain about too much is the weather. Texas has weather. Yes, it's been horribly hot, but we can handle that. We are loving the sudden rain showers and the thunder and lightening storms.  We hit a huge, beautiful storm as we drove across the state line at the end of our first day of driving. Lightening flashed on the horizon all around, and the rain came down in sheets. A little intimidating as we were driving, and the kids were a little frightened. A few times already, as we have been running errands around town, we've been caught in a sudden downpour. And nothing is cozier than sitting in our home listening to the rain drum on the roof. 

A couple days ago, I tried to explain to the kids why the air feels thick and sticky. As I talked about water droplets in the air and told them it was called humidity, Joy's natural response was, "Can I lick it?"

I absolutely love our house. We are still in the middle of unpacking, so it looks like a disaster, but it is slowly coming together. The kitchen is fully functional.  Joy's room is almost done, with the boys' room close behind. You can barely walk through the master bedroom. This happens every time we move; our room always gets done last. Some things I love about our new home:

-There is a huge backyard. I can't wait to get it fixed up and put in a swing set and watch the kids enjoy it. 

-I have a laundry room.  Not a closet off the hallway, or washer and dryer in the garage, an actual laundry room just across from the master bedroom. Do you know how many Pinterest ideas there are for laundry rooms?!

-The kitchen is gorgeous. Good amount of cabinet space and tons of counter space. I've already tested it thoroughly, and the functionality is perfect. Everything is right to hand without being cramped. 

-The pantry is large, but wide instead of deep, so we won't lose things in back, dark corners. 

-The floor plan is fantastic.  The kids room are set off in the front of the house on either side of an open room that will be our office/homeschooling space. The living space through the kitchen, dining area, and kitchen is very open, and the master bedroom is tucked in the back with a large bathroom and closet. 

-Joy's room has a small window alcove. How many times have I talked about making a reading nook for her? It is so perfect. I've already got a window seat and curtains set up. Just a few finishing touches needed. 

-There is both a shower stall and a large bathtub in the master bathroom. This just seems so luxurious to me.

-There is a ceiling fan in every room. Makes a huge difference in this heat!

-The kids' bathtub does not have sliding doors. Minor detail, but have you ever tried to give a kid a bath around those kinds of doors? Grateful for the small blessing of an open tub. 

-The whole living area is tiled. Fantastic with little kids making messes everywhere. 

-The size is perfect. Big enough to fit us comfortably and do some entertaining, but not so big as to be unmanageable to keep everything clean. 

Outside the home, we are starting to learn our way around town. Driving is definitely different out here. The streets are all crooked, and not clearly marked, and some of them have two names, which is tons of fun when trying to navigate with Google maps.  We have located all the important things: coffee, bank, grocery store, Target. The big store out here is HEB. It's a big warehouse store with pretty much everything. 

So, overall, we are very happy to be here. As we settle in, I'm working on establishing good habits and routines. It's a brand new beginning, a fresh start; I want to make it right!

Oh, and by the way, this guy just turned 1 year old!

Survival Mode

Moving day is approaching fast, and we are in a mad rush to get everything packed and ready to go. Our parenting has shifted into survival mode: keep the kids as quiet and happy as possible with the least amount of effort so we can put most of our time and energy into packing. 

I feel kind of guilty, really, like I'm being a subpar, lazy parent. I'm very grateful to other parents who come alongside at times like this and empathize with me.  "Oh, you fed your kids pizza for dinner three nights in a row? And they watched 4 movies today? Don't worry about it; I've done the same thing. Sometimes you've just got to get by."  It's encouraging to know we are not alone. 

I was thrilled to discover on Monday that Elijah will finally sit still and watch TV.  A few times, he has been entertained for two episodes of Yo Gabba Gabba in a row! Yesterday, I struggled for an hour to get him to sleep for a nap before giving up and putting him in front of the TV, and he fell asleep in the rocking chair! Yes, I freely confess that I am using TV for a baby sitter. After a while of TV, I do turn it off and tell them to go play for a while until I can't take the noise and arguing, and I'm spending too much time refereeing instead of working, and then the TV comes on again. 

We are in the home stretch! We finished packing out the kitchen tonight. This is the first time I've felt like we are actually going to be able to get everything done! There are boxes piled in the garage, and boxes piled in the playroom. The kids have picked out their toys to take in the car, and those have been set aside in special bags. Tomorrow, we will pack our suitcases, and just start throwing anything left into boxes. 

There is so much to do, I don't even have time to stop and think about what we are leaving and where we are going.  It's like my emotions are in survival mode, too: I'll deal with that later. Right now, all I can handle is this moment, one thing at a time.  It's coming, I know.  There are waves of emotion being held at bay. It's going to be so hard to leave, and there's so much uncertainty about what the future holds. I'm still trusting in God; I still believe this is His plan for us, and He will not fail us. 

First Day Home

Last Monday was my first official day as a stay at home mom.  I wasn't planning to go full on "mom mode" right away, though; the plan is for the kids to finish the month in daycare, giving me two weeks to attend to the packing and cleaning without helpful little hands.

On Sunday, Elijah started throwing up at 3am.  He continued this pattern into Sunday afternoon, which meant he would have to stay home with me on Monday.  That's ok, I can be flexible.  I had my Monday packed full of long, tedious errands (think DMV lines) not suitable for a baby, so Sunday evening, I quickly rearranged my schedule with a couple light errands and a lot of chores at home.

Elijah and I got up Monday morning and dropped the rest of the family off at daycare.  From there, we drove back to RSM and stopped at Starbucks. Mommy got coffee, and Bean got to watch the fountain in the courtyard. Looking at the time, I realized we had half an hour to kill before the post office opened, so we decided to stroll through Target.  I had some birthday money to spend, and since my casual wardrobe consists of one pair of jeans and a handful of T-shirts, I hit the clearance racks to look for some clothes more suited to my new home life.

I was actually finding some things I really liked, placing them in the cart to try on.  Then I got a text from Omar, "Come get William."  All the clothes went back on the rack, and Elijah and I drove back to the daycare to get William who had caught Elijah's stomach bug.  I decided to take Joy, too, so I wouldn't have to make a third trip later.

The day really peaked at lunch time.  William was not hungry and asked to go upstairs and lie down.  As I was serving Joy and Bean, I heard William start retching and ran upstairs to find him standing in the middle of his room throwing up.  As I rubbed his back and calmed him down, I heard Joy start crying and retching downstairs.  William hadn't eaten anything else, so he really didn't bring up much, but Joy made a mess.  I got both kids cleaned up and into bed, then put on rubber gloves and started cleaning the dining room floor, chair, and table.  This whole time, Elijah was rather unhappy about being left in his high chair and screamed at me the entire time I was trying to clean up.

I tried to get some work done while the kids were napping.  Just as the kids all started to wake up and move to the couch to watch a movie, I felt the waves of nausea starting to hit.  My first episode of vomiting was memorable as I leaned over the toilet while holding the baby back with one arm while he tried to see what new game Mommy was playing.

From that point on, I could barely get off the couch.  I was so grateful to see Omar arrive home.  He made chicken and rice soup for dinner, but Elijah was the only one who wanted to eat.  And shortly after dinner, the stomach bug got Omar.  I ended up calling my mom and asking her to come put the baby to bed.  My mom offered to take Elijah for the night, but I thought it would be too much trouble in the morning since he expects to nurse as soon as he wakes up.  I immediately regretted that decision.  Elijah woke up half an hour after my mom left.  It took Omar and I ten minutes to get down the hallway into the room, and I ended up sleeping on the floor with Elijah for an hour and a half because I couldn't get back up.

Tuesday morning, every one was feeling mostly recovered, enough to start eating a few cheerios at least.  However, the rhythm of the week was thrown off.  I got no packing or cleaning or any moving preparations done.  My dad came to visit, and the kids and I spent Wednesday and Thursday with him. Friday, I was very busy trying to catch up on my coding.

I have this wonderful idealistic vision of our life in Texas when I will be a stay at home mom.  I'll rise early and have some quiet time before cooking a healthy breakfast for my family and sending my husband off to work.  Then I will fill the kids' days with creative academics and fun field trips to libraries and museums, while getting work done during quiet time in the afternoon.  I'll have a daily house keeping schedule to follow, and have wonderful meal plans every week.

Now if all of you who are already stay at home moms are done laughing at me, let me just say, at least I've learned my lesson early!  Staying home with the kids is going to teach me how to be a lot more flexible.  I'll do my best to plan and clean and keep life going smoothly, but with 3 kids, life will definitely be unpredictable!

The "Lasts"

Less than a month until moving day.  Already, I am starting to feel a little weepy and sentimental just thinking about all the "lasts" that are coming up.  I'm getting through by focusing on on the "firsts" that are heading our way, but we've got to get through the "lasts" to get to the "firsts."

Last Friday was the kids' last talent show and carnival with Arbor Christian School.  I'm grateful for the time they have spent there, and the friends they have made.  William's class recited scripture and sang a song.  Joy's class recited the Hungry, Hungry Caterpillar (Joy held the caterpillar).  Then they played in the bouncy house, going down the slide over and over and over again.

This is my last week at work.  I will miss the lovely ladies working in the office with me and all the field clinicians, too.  This was my first "real" job.  I started in college as a part time medical records file clerk.  I've advanced to CRC, then coder, plus Allscripts Superuser.  I've been under 3 different managers, and made it through the dreaded EMR transition.  Through long talks with Frankie, and lunch chats with Debi, meetings, and office parties, I've learned so much, about work and about life. 

Yesterday was the kids' last appointments at Mia Bella Pediatrics.  I've loved Mia Bella from the first moment I called to schedule a prenatal consultation, and a live person picked up the phone on the first ring.  They have taken such great care of all 3 of my kids.  There is always a doctor available by phone who knows my child (even at 2am in the morning, and yes, I have tested that!).  When William was in the hospital at 5 months old, Dr. McNulty visited every day that she was working and coordinated care with the hospitalist as we prepared to discharge.  I plan to take a big plate of cookies or something to say thank you when I go back next week to pick up the kids' medical records.

I don't even want to think about some of the lasts coming up.  They are just going to get harder and harder. Last Sunday at church.  Last time with my parents.  Last dinners with friends. Everything is changing so fast.  All of a sudden, it seems like the move is just around the corner, and I can't keep up.

The kids are finishing out the month in daycare.  These next two weeks, I will be home by myself during the day.  I'll be picking up some extra cash doing some per diem coding for St. Joseph and some extra charts for QIRT, but my focus will be the packing and cleaning; so much to do!

Don't tell anyone, but I'm planning to sneak in just a little "me" time, too.  The first day I do some coding for St. Joseph, I plan to do it at a coffee shop.  I've always wanted to see what it was like to sit in a coffee shop and work; it just seems kind of glamorous.  And I love coffee.  I also plan to take advantage of the quiet house for a relaxing hot bath one day.  Just a few moments to help keep my sanity as we seem to be hurdling at breakneck speed into chaos.  Controlled chaos, in a moving truck.