I feel kind of guilty, really, like I'm being a subpar, lazy parent. I'm very grateful to other parents who come alongside at times like this and empathize with me. "Oh, you fed your kids pizza for dinner three nights in a row? And they watched 4 movies today? Don't worry about it; I've done the same thing. Sometimes you've just got to get by." It's encouraging to know we are not alone.
I was thrilled to discover on Monday that Elijah will finally sit still and watch TV. A few times, he has been entertained for two episodes of Yo Gabba Gabba in a row! Yesterday, I struggled for an hour to get him to sleep for a nap before giving up and putting him in front of the TV, and he fell asleep in the rocking chair! Yes, I freely confess that I am using TV for a baby sitter. After a while of TV, I do turn it off and tell them to go play for a while until I can't take the noise and arguing, and I'm spending too much time refereeing instead of working, and then the TV comes on again.
We are in the home stretch! We finished packing out the kitchen tonight. This is the first time I've felt like we are actually going to be able to get everything done! There are boxes piled in the garage, and boxes piled in the playroom. The kids have picked out their toys to take in the car, and those have been set aside in special bags. Tomorrow, we will pack our suitcases, and just start throwing anything left into boxes.
There is so much to do, I don't even have time to stop and think about what we are leaving and where we are going. It's like my emotions are in survival mode, too: I'll deal with that later. Right now, all I can handle is this moment, one thing at a time. It's coming, I know. There are waves of emotion being held at bay. It's going to be so hard to leave, and there's so much uncertainty about what the future holds. I'm still trusting in God; I still believe this is His plan for us, and He will not fail us.
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